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Where Are the Customers' Yachts? or A Good Hard Look at Wall Street: 32 (Wiley Investment Classics) Paperback – Illustrated, 22 Dec. 2005

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". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street." -- Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post

"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent." -- Michael Bloomberg

"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former." -- John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money , Financial Columnist, Time magazine

Humorous and entertaining, this book exposes the folly and hypocrisy of Wall Street. The title refers to a story about a visitor to New York who admired the yachts of the bankers and brokers. Naively, he asked where all the customers' yachts were? Of course, none of the customers could afford yachts, even though they dutifully followed the advice of their bankers and brokers. Full of wise contrarian advice and offering a true look at the world of investing, in which brokers get rich while their customers go broke, this book continues to open the eyes of investors to the reality of Wall Street.

• ISBN-10 0471770892
• ISBN-13 978-0471770893
• Edition 1st
• Publisher Wiley
• Publication date 22 Dec. 2005
• Language English
• Dimensions 13.97 x 1.78 x 21.59 cm
• Print length 208 pages
• See all details

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"More than half a century on, Where Are the Customers' Yachts? Remains a fascinating read" ( Money Week , July 2006)

"... the book is a fun read and as relevant today as it ever was..." ( Investor's Chronicle , August 2015)

From the Inside Flap

". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street." —Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post

"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent." —Michael Bloomberg

"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former." —John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money, Financial Columnist, Time magazine

From the Back Cover

". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street." Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post

"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent." Michael Bloomberg

"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former." John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money, Financial Columnist, Time magazine

About the Author

Product details.

• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Wiley; 1st edition (22 Dec. 2005)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Paperback ‏ : ‎ 208 pages
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0471770892
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0471770893
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 13.97 x 1.78 x 21.59 cm
• 83 in Poker
• 189 in Business Humour

About the author

Fred schwed.

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Book Review: Where Are The Customers’ Yachts by Fred Schwed

• February 2, 2016
• , Book Reviews , How Not To Invest , Investing , Personal Finance , Wall Street

But don’t think of this as a financial book.

This is one of the best pieces of comedic writing I’ve ever read. Seriously.

Schwed’s voice at points reminds me of A.A.Milne, in that he begins with a banal-sounding truism, and then veers off – in the second part of his sentence – into an unexpected absurdity, unveiling a deeper truth. It’s not unlike my favorite faux-philosopher Jack Handey’s style, except Schwed’s actually somewhat useful, rather than just plain bonkers.

I say useful because we all need clever ways to defend ourselves against myths of Wall Street and its fawning handlers within the Financial Infotainment Industrial Complex. Schwed satirically punctures our deeply-held myths in a totally goofy way.

He published this in 1940, following his experience on Wall Street in the 1920s and 1930s, but you know what? Yes, you do know what. Plus ca change plus c’est la meme chose. [1]

The title, if you didn’t know, refers to an apocryphal story of a newbie visiting lower Manhattan who is shown all the bankers’ and brokers’ impressive yachts. Long before #FeelTheBern and Occupy Wall Street, Schwed’s retelling of the joke tapped into our suspicions about the inflated compensation of the financial industry.

So, read this for the hilarity, but understand that the sly truths slipped in there might just help us as well.

On market predictions

Schwed nails the point that Wall Street’s and the Financial Infotainment Industrial Complex’s predictions aren’t worth more than a printed almanac describing the weather over the next 365 days. [2]

I received a link from a friend genuinely concerned about this headline in the beginning of 2016: “Sell Everything! 2016 Will Be a Cataclysmic year, warns RBS” . It’s hard to explain just how useless these types of predictions really are, unless you’ve been inside the beast and can see these prophesies for what they are. Schwed has some hilarious stuff on this topic.

On Short-Selling

Back in the midst of the 2008 crisis short-selling became unpatriotic and in some limited cases (like naked-shorts) illegal. Popular aversion to short-selling clearly has a long history, as Schwed describes the early 20 th Century views and blows up the mythology there as well.

On Options Trading

Schwed describes, tongue firmly in cheek, the possible mechanisms and joys of options trading. Helpfully, he follows that up with a few explanations of how puts and calls and straddles work, although mostly he describes the funny patter of options traders attempting to attract customers. If you’ve ever dealt with options traders (I have!) its pretty funny, and true.

We read useful other thoughts, couched in humorous self-deprecation. The author directly addresses why Schwed – by 1940 a former stock-broker and dabbler in stocks himself – isn’t wealthier.

In his own words:

“…[M]y tendency has been to buy stocks, all a-tremble as I do so. Then when they show a profit I sell them, exultantly. (But never within six months, of course. I’m no anarchist.) It seems to me at these moments that I have achieved life’s loveliest guerdon [3] – making some money without doing any work. Then a long time later it turns out that I should have just bought them, and thereafter I should have just sat on them like a fat, stupid peasant. A peasant, however, who is rich beyond his limited dreams of avarice.”

See, that’s what I’ve been trying to say all along .

Please see related posts:

All Bankers Anonymous Book Reviews In One Place

Never Sell! From Disney to Churchill

Mutual Funds v ETF

Talking One’s Book – Mistrust ‘The Experts’

[1] Important note: I have no idea what that means. As my close personal friend Steve Martin says, the French have a different word for practically everything.

[2] Every year a favorite restaurant-owner in my neighborhood hands out an annual paper calendar printed with exactly that: The upcoming weather for the next year, throughout the various regions of the United States. Every time I tear off the page of a new month, I take the time to read that months’ weather. For some reason the subtle humor of the The Liberty Bar calendar never gets old for me.

[3] I learned a word today!

Post read (1422) times.

4 Replies to “Book Review: Where Are The Customers’ Yachts by Fred Schwed”

I honestly didn’t know this was a book, thought it was just a punch line to the apocryphal story. Thanks for the review, going to read it now.

It’s really good, if you don’t mind 1940s humor. It works for me. Tell me how you liked it.

Okay, finally received it from Amazon and finished it last night. In a time when most investment books are ultimately too serious and imbued with a sense of gravitas, Schwed’s self-deprecating take on himself and everyone else on Wall Street is refreshing.

More than anything, Schwed shows that human psychology doesn’t change. His take on investment trusts (now known as mutual funds) is spot on for then and even now. The ‘diversification’ they trumpet doesn’t matter when the whole market is collapsing, because the ‘trust’ or fund is diversified across the whole market, so when the market crashes, so do the trusts.

I am guessing it was much easier for people to obtain margin accounts at that time, because people trying to use margin to juice their earnings is one of his biggest criticisms.

His take on option salesman is amusing, mainly because I don’t think he could imagine the options markets today.

Overall, an excellent read, and well worth the money.

I thought so too! Glad you liked it. A good combination of super-funny, but also true and useful

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I founded Bankers Anonymous because, as a recovering banker, I believe that the gap between the financial world as I know it and the public discourse about finance is more than just a problem for a family trying to balance their checkbook, or politicians trying to score points over next year’s budget – it is a weakness of our civil society. For reals. It’s also really fun for me.

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• Publisher Wiley
• Publication date 1995
• ISBN 10  0471119792
• ISBN 13  9780471119791
• Binding Hardcover
• Edition number 1
• Number of pages 256

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Fisker Ocean

More than 40k fisker customers have canceled orders of their oceans.

Another major blow to California-based startup Fisker, as tens of thousands of customers reportedly have canceled their EV reservations to date – which is some serious bad buzz amid a tumultuous time as the company scrambles for funding to stay alive.

Leaked data obtained by Business Insider states that to date Fisker customers have canceled orders by the tens of thousands – not that it’s terribly surprising given the dire news coming out of the company of late. “More than 40,000 out of well over 70,000 reservations for the Fisker Ocean have been canceled to date,” the report said . The “to date” part means presumably this has been happening for a while, since according to the internal metrics procured, Fisker has averaged around 70 to 80 cancellations per day in a recent week-long average.

Still, a tough break for a company that desperately needs to generate more revenue, and Fisker has to give back a portion of the fee customers spent on reserving a vehicle, which costs $250 to reserve. Fisker’s website says that the amount is refundable, with the exception of a $25 processing fee.

The total amount of 40,000 reservation reimbursements adds up is an eye-watering $9 million, not that that is the exact figure. Fisker has so far declined to comment on the data leak or cancelations. In total, Fisker has delivered more than 6,000 EVs to date since releasing its Ocean SUV in June last year, according to the metrics seen by Business Insider.

Last week, Fisker dropped prices on the Ocean by nearly 40% to boost sales, with the lowest-priced option, the Ocean Sport, available for $24,999 – a nearly $14,000 price difference from its regular retail price of $38,999. The Ocean Extreme shaved off $24,000 from its regular price $61,499 to $37,499.

Of course, if you need servicing or new parts in the future, we’re not sure anyone will be available to take your call.

In February, Fisker said in its earnings call that it might not be able to make it through the year . In a regulatory filing earlier last month, Fisker said it has paused production for six weeks and stated that it had $121 million in the bank. March 18, the company then announced a fresh commitment of $150 million in additional funding, but then said a few days later that the deal fell through. Fisker made more than 10,000 EVs last year, well below the 42,400 originally promised, but it delivered only about 4,700. Still, its stock price soared at the end of last year as a result – which gave the company a boost it badly needed. Of course, Fisker has been playing on the edge for months now , after slashing its production guidance last year as it struggled to ramp up deliveries and dealing with noncompliance notices from Nasdaq this year. The company has  faced a long line of issues and delays  too in getting its EVs to customers who had paid for them. Now, Fisker probably needs nothing short of a miracle, but we’ll stayed tuned.

FTC: We use income earning auto affiliate links. More.

Jennifer is a writer and editor for Electrek. Based in France, she has worked previously at Wired, Fast Company, and Agence France-Presse. Send comments, suggestions, or tips her way via X (@JMossalgue) or at [email protected].

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Fred Schwed's Where are the Customers' Yachts? A modern-day interpretation of an investment classic (Infinite Success) Kindle Edition

• Part of series Infinite Success
• Print length 119 pages
• Language English
• Sticky notes On Kindle Scribe
• Publisher Infinite Ideas
• Publication date November 26, 2010
• File size 696 KB
• Page Flip Enabled
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• Enhanced typesetting Enabled
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• Next 3 for you in this series $28.30
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Product details

• ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00591WK5S
• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Infinite Ideas (November 26, 2010)
• Publication date ‏ : ‎ November 26, 2010
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• File size ‏ : ‎ 696 KB
• Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
• Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
• Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
• X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
• Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
• Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
• Print length ‏ : ‎ 119 pages
• #542 in Personal Money Management (Kindle Store)
• #792 in Investing Basics
• #2,331 in Introduction to Investing

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